I Am Rigid With Glee
Yes! It is true! Finally, all my dreams have come true, for I am being paid to be fat. Paid in Canadian dollars (or “Loonies”, as they are called, in honour of a bird that I do not believe exists even in the European imagination), for wiffling on about what it is like to be a porketeer.
Let me explain. I work in an ‘advertising agency’, where I am a ‘planner’ (or “planificatrice stratégique” when in the French part of Canada). This means that I read things (mainly on the internet), try and make very complicated ideas (about for e.g. chips and the weather) very simple, write things down (sometimes on charts, sometimes on the wall in blunt wax crayons), write a very great many emails and talk about stuff with other ‘planners’, ‘creatives’ and ‘account handlers’. It is great.
Of late, I have been working on a weight loss brand. It is quite interesting, and I will be sharing my ‘findings’ (”Weight Loss Gain Train”, anyone? Any takers for the “Transtheoretical Model of Behaviour Change”?) with you, my eager readers, any day now. (I hasten to add I have lost no weight; in fact I have put on three pounds of late, but at least I know the transtheoretical reason why.)
In the meantime, I must confess to having been “stumped” by a section of the presentation I must make to my client(s) and a room full of (thin) advertising types the day after tomorrow. It is quite ridiculous, and not unlike asking Tony Parsons what it feels like to be a preening cockmonkey: yes - I must try and ‘get inside the mind of the consumer’ and try help them to understand what it feels like to be fat. In the ‘advertising business’, it is called “getting inside the mind of the consumer” - but I’m fucked if I know what to do.
Anyone got any ideas?
Have Anna help you with a video reenactment of when the doctor’s office receptionist told her off for being overweight. (http://littleredboat.co.uk/?p=2400) Video shot from Anna’s eyes, of course.
That post opened my eyes more than anything else about how people treat you differently when you don’t conform to their idea of beauty.
Comment by Liesl — April 21, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
erm, you might try something along the lines of disappointment. I have been profoundly disappointed to discover that even when I can find the clothes in my size I don’t look like the model, and it doesn’t matter how objective you are about this beforehand it always sets off a little twinge.
and there’s the guilt thing too.
But surely, the consumers of your brand will already be fat, won’t they know how they feel? Why do they need to be told? or am I missing something about advertising?
Comment by Manda — April 21, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
Working from the premise that it would be almost impossible to make them all wear the Gweneth Paltrow fat suit for a week.. perhaps you could
-have someone serving tea/coffee and cookies who looks at them pityingly and half whispers “Wouldn’t you rather have some water instead”-
-have someone else to greet them, who quickly manages to mention how they just happen to have the greatest ” trainer/nutritionist/doctor/gym/diet” and how they’d be willing to share the contact info. Have them express surprise when group member says they already have one.
-pad all the chairs so they barely fit into them
-give them one of those weighted diving belts to wear around all day.
- throw in a little alarm that goes off every 5-ten minutes saying something annoying about food.
They probably still won’t get it…but GO NWM!
Comment by asta — April 21, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
Leaving aside the fact that the experience will be different for different people (and avoiding jokes about John Prescott), you could show them a video of a patronising sales assistant in action in a certain “large person”’s clothes store mentioned in a earlier thread.
If covert filming isn’t an option, I got the impression it appeared to be the company’s policy to be insulting, so you might be able to get them to lend you a copy of their corporate staff training video.
Comment by jd — April 21, 2008 @ 7:51 pm
Boil wash all of their clothes and then send them to a children’s clothes shop with instructions to find a pair of jeans in their size.
I am rigid with glee too, but mainly because the Non-Working Monkey is back.
Comment by chairwoman — April 21, 2008 @ 9:51 pm
Balls. That is me, Katy, but on the Chairwoman’s computer, because the power lead has packed up on mine and I didn’t manage to get to the Apple shop today. BAHHHH.
Comment by chairwoman — April 21, 2008 @ 9:52 pm
That was me again. Katy.
Comment by chairwoman — April 21, 2008 @ 9:53 pm
tell them all not to eat for 24 hours before the meeting. then eat lots of yummy things (enidd would choose runny camembert and ripe tomatoes) in front of them, smacking your lips.
Comment by enidd — April 22, 2008 @ 12:12 am
“Oh, hi, when is the baby due ?” always works a charm =)
But just a tip : just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you’re complex-free: tread lightly, or you’ll have a 100-pound advertising exec girl trying to jump out of the window.
Comment by Typh — April 22, 2008 @ 7:19 am