Statistics

[week one, day one, lbs dropped toward total: none, obv]

Four things that are driving me mad
1) After a year and a half of going to the gym and eating well and about four stone lost, so far, I am completely, utterly and maddeningly stuck. I have bobbed up and down, a pound or two a week, going down, up, down, up, and down again as rapidly as a whore on a pogo stick, I cannot seem to break the stuckness.

2) The stuck point that I am on is exactly the most annoying point it could be. I know the BMI thing is dodgy and not a good scale to judge by, but the fact that I’ve stopped just tiny, weeny increments above the line that separates one classification from the next. This is makes me utterly stabby.
3) Although I exercise like a crazy demon and my dearest love does fuck all, he is only two points on the BMI thing above me, which frankly couldn’t be less fair. Lucky fucking 6′3″ bugger.
4) The new convention on TV news where people say “Hi, this is the nine o’clock news, I’m Matt, our top story tonight …” Matt WHO? You’re a news reader, have some sodding gravitas. I know that isn’t anything to do with weight loss, but it is driving me mad, so, you know, it fits.

Four things that could be my downfall
1) Lovely lovely wine.
2)Getting tired at the end of a week and being unable to stop the words “Oh can we not just order a pizza?” tumbling from my mouth.
3) Baking. There is nothing more relaxing and comforting than spending an afternoon chopping, stirring, beating and baking. Problem is, you end up with a large cake, or a mountain of muffins or a batch of cookies that, yes, have made the house smell lovely, but are also packing a sat-nav with the full instructions of the fastest way to your thighs already programmed in. I have been trying to lower the impact of said baked goods with low fat this and sugar free that, but everyone knows that ruins the flavour - and I have been practising the concept of cooking it but then refusing to eat them, but it does tend to undermine everyone else’s opinion of your food.
4) Work. Occasionally I have to eat out for work, and I have to order a variety of things, because … well, I just do. And I love food. Good food. Frankly, anyone who can go into a fabulous restaurant where they know how best to cook the world’s best ingredients, inventively, freshly and do it well … and then order a bowl of lettuce with no croutons and dressing on the side? Well, they haven’t got the art of living down pat, in my opinion.

Four things in my favour
1) I like exercise, mainly as it gives me an excuse not to do any work for a bit. So that should help.
2) I have a goal. I have two weddings to go to mid-May, and have sworn a pact of thinness with fellow attendees for the second one. That gives me three and a half months. But pressure. Pressure is good.
3) This blog. Peer pressure is a powerful thing, but I’m fucked if I’m going to Weight Watchers, because I’m not paying someone to try and sell me snack bars and weigh me like a bag of nutty slack before chastising me in front of a room full of hungry fat lasses. Thus, blog. Yay.
4) I know it is possible, this weight-loss thing. This not-being-stuck. This getting-thinner-again, thing.
I just have to work out how.

So please bear with me.